THE ART OF LETTING GO

"Gabi na, uuwi na kami baka mapalo kami ng Inay. Bukas na lang ulit"         I really can't understand kung bakit sa lahat na lang ng lines na pwede kong matandaan from my childhood days ay itong line pa na ito ang laging bumabalik. Feeling ko na trauma ata ako sa line na ito. Funny isn't it? Imagine nagpapakalungkot ako kase aalis na ang kalaro ko eh me bukas pa naman. Here again that same familiar feeling---that familiar feeling which can cause my body to feel nothing except from sadness and pain. Binura mo na pala yung tungkol sakin sa blog mo. Is it your way of saying that you're throwing everything that we had? that you're erasing me from your life?(Sshhh...just like you naguguluhan din ako kung ano ba ang pinaglalaban ko dito shatap ka na lang beh) My heart and mind are in chaos right now. I'm always asking myself of why is it hard for me to move on...to move forward...to let it go...to let them go...to let you go? "People come and go", it's the reality of life I know, but why is it hard for me accept it? Why is it hard for me to accept that people from my past have their own life too...that they cannot stay there forever. Bakit kailangan ng change? bakit kailangang may mabago? bakit kailangang may bagong kaibigan ang kaibigan mo at mas close pa sila sayo? bakit kailangan mong maramdamang lagi kang nakikipagkompetensya sa attention nila? bakit napapagod ka ng mag-isa? bakit kailangang may mas magaling sayo? mas gusto nila? Ang dami kong issue sa buhay anetch? Blah.blah.blah. (erase. erase) Honestly, all I really want at this moment is to take a sip of my favorite not-so-cheap coffee while staring outside at the fancy glass wall window of my soon to be favorite coffee shop. All I have right now are my dreams and aspirations in life. Maybe some people may not understand this psycho lady that I have within, but I must continue doing all the things which I believe will make me happy in the future. Yes I'm afraid of opening my door to someone for a deep friendship or relationship to happen, but that's for now. Tomorrow who knows? maybe I will be that child who will look forward for daylight to smile as it set its warm rays so that she and her playmates will be reunited once again. ☺